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   What really comes next to college graduation?

   Some says, "career work, of course".  Others may say, "venture for a fruitful life and greener pasture...".

    I wish i'm in either situation. But, hey, i'm going nowhere. I'm just bothered and very alarmed of the present experiences i am into right now--- life after tertiary education.

    Indeed, lookng for work is difficult--- exciting though--- while waiting for acceptance is much more difficult--- frustrating sometimes. This doesn't mean the end of everything. Good thing i'm not a highly-pessimist kind. However, not that very optimistic. I'm not in between. I have a place, certainly not inbetween--- constructive optimism. Even, i'm unsure of where my philosophy will lead me. I simply am very hopeful. That's it... one good deal of HOPE.

   Well, let's just see what comes next after all the efforts i've put into my doing.

   I just really miss the posting. This blogging relly helps. I don't know why but i certainly know how. Well, besides that i will just key in the words on the keyboard i can immediately undo the errors in the previous portions of my writing unlike in writing using paper and pen. But, paper and pen most often than not helps me much in relieving anxieties. I don't know why? Perhaps thats the great therapuetic effect of curving lines and stroking the ink down into the paper. Maybe their is great transition in letting your hand decode the complex pattern of your brain.The sight of the lefted marks are simply a great manifestation of releasing the inner thoughts you have. Hey! i'm talking now of the "WHY"!

   Realization............................... I guess..............................................

   Okay. Just like the way writing eases your tension-prone mind, let your hopes do the same. Dream, plan, effort and HOPE.

    Just an insight:

    During our baccalaureate, well the gospel reading for graduating classes is almost the same only that the homilies differ--- the reading is all about the parable on the prodigal son---, i almost cried. Well, i just felt crying near the end of the homily. But, one of my friend, seeing him from, an elevated portion of the venue, afar, really cried almost at the middle part of the homily. The homily started by giving great achievement done by Flipinos and added was a  statistical result showing the current status of the most corrupt countries in Asia and Philippines, from its being ranked as 2nd, ascended to 1st. The priest says his congratulations to all who have helped for such a great achievement. What an irony? Simple sarcasm. He proceed... talking to us, the youth. Then, in the middle part, he read a letter written by a Korean student, schooling in the philippines. He added that "Koreans and other non-English speaking Asians study english in the Phlppines is not because of the quality but because education here is cheaper." The letter tackles the comparsion of the way Korean love their country and the way Flipinos love their country. It includes the things the Philippines are blessed of that they, Koreans, don't actually have. Before their came a point that each Korenas are wishing to be a Filipino because of the drastic grasp of poverty all over ther country. Yet, they are far affluent now compared to the Philippines. Nearing the end of the Homily, the priest challenges us, saying "What has become of the youth today? How rotten are there voices? How should you prove...   ....that this letter is wrong? ...that the oldies are wrong not trusting you? ...that you are correct in the best of your endeavors?  ...that the statistics about youths' passivism and intolerable deliquency are wrong? ...that their is still HOPE for every Filipino to love his/her country? 

    Perhaps, what comes next to graduation is a simply four-letter word with great meaning, HOPE.

    HOPE for better lives, HOPE for better changes, HOPE for development, HOPE for unity, HOPE for loyalty, HOPE for love, HOPE for the children, HOPE for the youths, HOPE for the parents, HOPE for all the adults, HOPE for all Flipinos, HOPE for the rise of the fatherland PHILIPPINES, and HOPES for the dying soul of national dignity.... they way we were before.

 

              



    The seed is starting to sprout for this year. Noone knows how it will be for next days, weeks, and months. However, one can predict forthcomings base on how he/she ended the last few chapters of his/her last year and how he/she is able to work for the happenings onwards.
     If the position holds any water, then i'm seeing my year full of discomfort--- it always does. Yet in a year seasons and pests come and go. Still, no one knows.
     Always, in my solitude, i think of any escape for my poor soul. But, desparity welcomes me in its frigid accommodation.
     If Gaurdians are as corporeal as we 'ey maybe the most burdened to thine journey.
     How we wish they are as visible as the stones and others. Do you?
     Everything leads to couple of branches: the positive and the negative.
     Discomfort is a facet of pain. Every pain gains downfall or rejubilation.
     I believe that living are fragments to puzzle about---bringing the most precise  picture of what your life  to be as willed by the  Almighty.
      Atheist may say " Damn with your state-of-mind-Creator. Fools!". Until today noone had yet laid out the meeting point of belief for the entire human race.
      Robert Schuller would say, " Faith is not what it is; when you  believe because of proofs."
      Everywhere, everyday, is a battle of stands. Where are you my friend? Where are we?
      How can i struggle over my discomfort that it will fruit to joys? Where should i stand?
      The end point is...

                         ...ask what your soul is being deprived of---- ETERNITY.
     

 

We enjoy warmth because we have been cold.
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness. 
                                                                                           

                                                                                      -David Weatherford

---

This would be my first post since the last time i did so.

In this semester i've been in the lowest point in my life; however, the highiest point as well.

I don't know why, but the cycle of being happy and being scournful is as thin as desert's arid air. The other one flew as the other one's coming. Is their a part in my life that i would stay in either moment a little longer and less drastic. This is always been my living. Adapting to changes in a make-believe.

Good thing i have with me:

# My faith (He is my Savior, Psychiatrist, and Privider)

# My precious memories (my mother, myself, and -----)

# My younger brothers

# My co-majors (the Five of them) plus an addition

# Pathways friends (all)

# Anne Rice and her characters

# Christina Aguilera's (song all)

# My journal and favorite pen (My Gel 0.5, black)

# My painting materials (all)

# My guitar (my old and Cebu made guitar)

# My matchbox songs

# Enigma's musics (all)

# My experimental shots (as-if-a-photojournalist shots)

# My cabinet with the whole body mirror and everything in it and my "baul"

# My books in my bookself

# My blog and web accounts

# My calculator

# My Bed and my two pillows in silvery-white, though rough, satin-silk pillow case

# My prayer guides

# my physics books

# my most-hated teachers and professors

# my being late

# my sickness

# my being weak

# my MASK

# my Director: steven speilberg

# my co-stars in hollywood

# my fans out there " I hear you peole..I'm with you...I love luv yah ul!"

# my soon to release novels ( sure hit ...)

# my forthcoming movie projects and television shows

# my soon to launch album

# my mansion in France and in England

# my broadcasting and advertising business

# my favorite uncle: stephen king

# my future pictorials in almost 568 magazines worldwide, starting tomorrow

# my cousin prince charles

Life is life...

I'm living the way it is...

I'm the king of my own world...

To hell they care...

but, THOSE who really care for me....

I'll pray for you...

My heart is beating to shout your names and  my soul is for all of you to speak with...

I'm alive...

I'm human...

i'm a ghost...

I suck blood...

it's my life-source...

I'm everywhere...

Unseen...

Frightened by...

Sane and well....

 

      it's been 4 months now since the last time i've made a post. that's been long enough for some but, i guess, i spent a century of leave. (laugthers) even the thoughts to put down, i can't even figured-out. let's see...ok...

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whew!!! it's hot. summer, right?

* i'm having my summer class for ethics, rizal, and community immersion.
* i'm having health problems just recently, until now. it seems acute medically to me but the doctor told i should get some rest and pretty care of my self.whatta medical advice. Anyways, i don't have money to go to the specialist. that's why self medication is my option. my father seems to lax about it--- he's having some sort of financial problem, our family so to say. basically, it's not fair to burden tita ( my stepmom) all these problems alone by her self. the fact she's helping, it's a great thing to credit her.
* i'm the lone child in the house right now--- i have three younger siblings, you know. the two boys next to me are staying in my aunt's place for a summer job. the youngest is in my other aunt just within our city. i have the whole heck of solitary privacy on my own.
* i'm starting to hate my study about rizal. but, i have to...i have to learn loving it.
* i'm too excited of the showing of "the da vinci code". yet, it's under screening of MTRCB. i can't get my hot ass on them because i can see it's there job. i'm hoping that it won't take too long.
* i'm looking forward in having to read another novel of my fave author, Anne Rice.
* i'm quite excited in the announcement of the finalist for the essay competition sponsored by world back. I've submitted an entry (laughters!)---credit it to my magnanimous gutts. it's actually me and my friend ariel, whom i know did join the same contest. Nothing, even if i know that i'll not going to be in the list, i'm just too happy that i've participated an international event.
* i'm excited and nervous of my assignment in my org. T'nalak Youth Group's (Pathways NDMU) another year of its existence. not the club itself but my position in the club. it's challenging so to say. I'm the academic head for enrichment. i'll be inspiring senior high school students(hahaha). the org is a voluteerism-spirited one that believes and caters to the intellectual needs of academically gifted students yet underpriviledge. the good thing is i have my co-head in the same position..you know having someone doing what two of you are suppose to be doing...isn't it cute...joke! i'll gamble...i'll be more responsible this time.
* hurray! the next two sems are the last sessions of my college life, God willing. i fear it so much.but, maybe,  i'll find it easy to carry-to because i'm an independent type of a person.
*i'm having a new blog ( it's under construction). it will house my poetic side. i love poetry because i can hide myself even publicly devoured.
*i'm running out of finances for my summer. my scholarship is not yet releasing the monthly allowance. it would mean gripping on to the oh-so-merciful cloak of my father. back to my good-boy morality just to win his favor.
* i'm liking the aura of the new housemates, the teen edition. nah, they are full of ultra-radiative wavelength. (ther are blue. green, red, yellow, violet, pink, brown.....black! hahahah!)
* i'm getting hooked to ABS-CBN's new koreanovela "wonderful life". indeed, being young is wonderful. being alive is wonderful. yet, we have to be always onguard of the things to come as blessings and hurdles. besides it's funny, it's real.

      Life is exciting and wonderful despite all the villains around you trying hard to plot there assassinations--- anyway, they are boarding on the losing side. Just smile for there defeat--- dome's days to them and glories to you. Continue and be humble, simple and brainy.
     It's like a desert man sojourning with his camel and with ultimate goals in his head and heart. No matter how hard the path it should serve as molding furnace that would intensify your personality. No matter how inhostile living nowadays there should still hope inside your soul. Losing it... life is useless.
      Thank GOD, He blessed me with hopeful volition and end in mind.